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How Nairobi Women Waste Time With Sponsors, Alcohol and Reject Good Men Only to End Up Single, Miserable

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“You will know them by the manifestation of their fruits,” so the library of books says. On social media, they project their ire and pain towards men through acerbic posts like ‘men are trash, I cannot date a broke man, men are scum.”

The ones who vaunt some little education will be bandying words like “patriarchy, I am a feminist, misogyny” and other politically correct words they barely comprehend.

Meet Kenyan women in their late 30s and 40s. If a psychic would have told them in their hay days that they would be single or single mothers at that age, they would have stoned them. While in their twenties, they had it all figured out. Masters by age 27, secure a good job via merit or otherwise(the end justifies the means), get an Idris Elba, a Michael B. Jordan, or a Michael Ealy- rich and stunning – to settle down with.

Same women will spend their twenties and early 30s jumping from the wrinkle shaft of one old man to the other just for the allure of Insta life. They will scorn at young men; like them with potential but who are still trying to find a bearing in life just because their belts do not match their kicks.

Of course, life has a funny way of clapping back at our follies. By the time you are 37, the men you rejected are now stable and married. So you settle for being a mistress he hides to screw or you become a second wife yet you spent your youth preaching against polygamy as outdated. Others turn to fake evangelical prayers for husbands, others settle with anything that even remotely suggests marriage while the rest just morph into radical feminists.

What worries me is that young women are being recruited into sharing the misery of feminists- often older unmarried women- who drum in them the nonsense that men are useless creatures you are better of without. If success was all that a woman should care about, how come even the most successful in whatever sphere- whether political, corporate are either married or got married despite the success?

Why would Kamala Harris get married at 50, Boss Sholei at 50, Susan Kihika at 46? Aren’t they all successful? It is because even success cannot hinder nature. Men and women need each other. We all want companionship and intimacy. And they are the lucky ones. This luck also works when you come with more than an attitude, some lousy degree, someone else’s babies. If you spend your youth days partying, twerking instead of getting a good education, and working on your career, no tangible man will look at you twice when you are 40.

Listen, feminists will bark all they want but common sense should tell you that women have biological clocks that men do not have. I am all for women seeking to build their careers, being ambitious, amassing degrees, and being independent. Heck, that is what I stand and root for. But at some point, you will need a man. So if a good one comes as you climb the ladder, don’t dismiss him on the basis of his second-hand car, his one degree, or other flimsy nonsense.

So unless you are getting advice from lesbians or radical feminazi, or these women with daddy issues, any older woman who is unmarried will tell you they wish they would have done things differently when they were younger.

As a young woman, here are a few things to change if you wish to one day settle

  1. Education and career are important. But so is a relationship or even marriage. Just find a balance.

2. Acquire some homely skills. Your fridge cannot have more beer than food yawa. And that time you spend perfecting reverse cowgirl skills so that you please sponsors, learn how to cook too. For yourself and for your man

3. Too much liquor, weed, cigars, and Shisha especially in public do not make you a badass. Get a grip on yourself girl

4. You know all the clubs in Nairobi West and CBD but has not touched a book and the only thing you read are useless tabloids.

5. Useless standards of a tall, dark, and handsome both in looks ad pocket yet you are 34? Okay, take clay and mold your own man

6. There is more to life than fashion, social media euphoria- and as you invest excessively on the outer beauty, remember to save, invest, and build the inner you too.

 



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About Anne Atieno

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